Strange New Things

Hello! Long time, no see, Darlings.

I could tell you Everything from even before my last post, really the last two and a half years, every excruciating detail that has brought me to now, a Strange, New Thing typing this post, but…

your speculations are probably more spectacular than the truth.

And I’ve worked so hard to figure out where some big, bad things fit into my life, I don’t really want to rehash them all. My emotions might explode and get into your pretty hair.

So, I’ll sum up in a less aggressive way-bullet points!

  • A very important person in my life made a terrible and uncharacteristic decision. It hurt so many people and cause him great guilt and regret, ultimately leading to his depression and suicide. The suicide happened before we could reconcile. I was 31 weeks pregnant during his funeral. It sucked a lot.
  • After giving birth, I had postpartum depression. Again. It sucked a lot.
  • I was in an unhealthy job situation that, in combination with the above, sucked a lot.

Two and a half years later, I think I may possibly be able to get back out in the world because of the next few bullet points.

  • Strangely, forgiving him wasn’t the biggest issue for me. It was that I didn’t tell him I didn’t hate him as he assumed I did. I was just so. So. Sad. I have come to a “place” where I can forgive myself more every day and grieve properly with each allowance.
  • I’ve been back on the medication that helps me deal with postpartum depression for a long while now. Actually, I believe I’m finally in a spot where I can try getting off of them again, which thrills me.
  • I have a new, positive work environment and I like to go there, to be a part of the “team”. I didn’t know how bad the previous situation was until I experienced something different. I make less money, but can I just tell you Folks that quality of life is worth a million rubies?

So, I’m getting back on track. It actually started at the end of July 2016, but I was embarrassed to tell you all publicly. What if I wasn’t “fixed”? What if nobody told me I had crazy in my teeth? I’ve had a few months of pleasant days now, though, and I feel more…resolved, maybe? That might be the right word.

The next set of bullet points are things I’ve learned going through this mess:

  • Forgive others.
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Experience your emotions. Don’t hide them away.
  • Write it out to understand better.
  • Keep hold of your joy.
  • Live the best you can.

I’m feeling good about 2017. I truly hope you are, too.

Kanpai, Lovely People!

Sig

April and May 2015 Updates

I don’t have a set number of hours to share with you for these months. I know. That sucks. It’s just that I have taken every spare moment to read on a couple of books, one on novel structure and one on outlining, and I haven’t been writing down when I start reading and taking notes, so I truly just don’t know. Is it fair to just say “a lot?” I don’t even know.

Why am I reading craft books, you might ask? Because after finishing the first draft of LibertyNovel and working with critique partners, I realized I needed help in this area. Lots and lots of help.  So what does a nerdy girl do when she realized she doesn’t know or understand something? She buys a book…or ten…and hope it whispers secrets to her.

LibertyNovel is shelved for the time being. I’m sad about it, but I owe the characters a better story than what is there, and I just don’t know the answer yet. So I will percolate until the time is right. Until then, I’m starting afresh with another idea and, oh my gosh, I can’t wait to share. But, for now, I call it MediatorNovel, and I love it so.

I wanted to be done with the outline by the end of May. That isn’t the case, but I’m finding there is a good possibility that I won’t have as much work to do after the first draft if I take care planning before it.

Soooo… here we go, again! Back to the drawing board but with so much more knowledge thanks to LibertyNovel and craft books! I’m so excited I could spit!

Love,

Mea

March ’15 Update

I have Critique Partners!!! There are two lovely people who have consented to work with me on getting this novel to the query stage, in spite of all my Me. (Just kidding. I’m awesome.) Already I’ve seen such a huge difference as I critique their writing and get a new perspective on mine. (And, dang, they’ve got some good stories!) I am overwhelmingly thankful to have met such lovely writers. Because of their thoughts and experiences, I have grown soooo much this month! Ah, I just….can’t….even…. YAY!

Here are the stats:

Total hours: 23 hours 20 minutes (20 hours was the goal)

Total days: 8 days (20 days was the goal)

I have Big Decisions to make on this book, and I wish I had more consecutive time to make these decisions, but we deal with what we have. I just feel like, when I have to break it up like this, I’m taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back. On the bright side, I’m still one step closer to done.

I wanted to clean out the office area of my kitchen this month. I got all but the overhead shelf done. I consider that a success. I am also ready to start putting together my bedroom table that I’ve been working on with MY OWN HANDS, slowly but surely, for the past three months.

Oh! AND Husband moved ugly furniture out of my bedroom to its new and desired location, and I moved the pretty furniture out of the dining room (where it did not belong) to the bedroom and it looks sooo much better. I got paint samples this month, too, and I decided what colors I did NOT want my bedroom walls but had much success with the kitchen color. These were things I didn’t have on my To-Do list, but I’m impromptu like that.

One day I will have time to write a thoughtful, endearing blog about life metaphors and licorice. Today is not that day. Hope y’all’s month was stinkin’ amazing!

Laters!

-Mea

February ’15 Update

The four weeks of February threatened to kick my butt. I seriously felt rubber to ass, but somehow, I managed to be productive. For the entire month, someone in my household was ill. Mostly, more than one of us at the same time. AND just when I thought we were so very close to well, my parents visit and my step-mother has the flu. She didn’t know until we took her to the ER at 3am, and it’s not her fault, but dammit, she has the flu. Which means that there MIGHT the flu in the Smiths future. I’m praying March will be the Month o’ Health and we will all be at full strength as we choke on Lysol and chaff from using all the soap in Mississippi.

I had a monthly goal to revise at least one hour a day, Monday through Friday. I laughingly thought that this would be enough time to revise the entire book. It was not. I am 4 chapters shy of finishing Part I. But also…….I’m 4 chapters shy of finishing Part I!

Here are the numbers:

16 work days (I wanted 20)

21 hours and 15 minutes of work time (I set my goal for 20) (Yay!)

Revised 19 chapters (out of 23 for Part I) (I already told you about my unrealistic thought process above)

I also cleaned out my closet, a bigger task than one might expect. I’m pleased but really want to finish revisions in March. I’m keeping my goal grand, just in case…

Good luck to you in your life endeavors, writing or decluttering or whatever!

<3,

Mea

The New Year is Upon Us Continued

Okay, here is the promised Goal Post (haha) that I promised in January. I have, in fact, been late on this post because I have been über focused on completing said goals and have forgotten to share with y’all where my efforts have been.

I hope I’m forgiven.

I really hope to have my book to my beta readers by the end of February. I’m getting nervous about this deadline because even though I’ve been working diligently, I’m not near through and I’m 10 days into the month. I’m on chapter 3. Please get faster as I get more practiced, Revision. There are big Things to be done.

Something that I’m pretty excited about (yet feel super vulnerable about) is my goal to write a short story once a week, starting last week. I’m sharing them with you guys even if they are horrible. I posted the first one on Friday. (It’s pretty horrible.) Here’s the reason for Short Stories: I want to practice getting ideas to paper faster and smarter, so I’m trying short stories with a limit on the time I spend on them. I spent two hours on the one from Friday from the time I found a prompt I liked until I finally MADE myself stop writing/editing. Maybe at the end of the year I’ll pick a few to edit and submit to things, but that’s not the initial goal.

I have my Writing goals planned out, an idea for Things To-Do with the Family, and a super skinny skeleton for things I want to do personally. This month, I’m cleaning out my closet for me. It’s not wild or crazy, but I think I’ll feel better when I can see my clothes instead of treading on them. 🙂 I’ll pick these person to-dos month-to-month. One can get overwhelmed, you know. Ha!

I hope y’all are inspired and inspiring!

Onward and Upward!!!

–Mea

The New Year is Upon Us

2015 is standing before us, bold and bright, and I don’t know about you, but I am ready to take all I’ve learned from the 2014 struggle and make something good. So, cheers! Let’s make the best of the past and look forward to future opportunities. You guys probably know what’s coming next–A New Year’s Goals post. Yay! It’s my favorite way to get and stay focused throughout the year.

But before that happens, I really want to introduce you to the newest member of the Smith Clan.

DSC_9208

The absolute best part of 2014!

Talk to you soon!

October Update

I completely forgot that I didn’t do an October Update until about… 10 seconds ago. Let’s call it the effects of About to have a Baby Syndrome and move on, shall we? Ha HA!

Plotting was the them of the month and I got to the very last lovely scene on the book. I’m very excited to start revisions after completing the draft. I love the last scene! It’s sweet and sad and hopeful… There’s resolution and wonder. This place where I am has taken me so long, but it’s so damn satisfying.

Though the Words-to-Date are the same at 43,004, I did plot 2.040 words in 4.5 hours of work time within 3 days. The stats are blowing anyone away, but progress is progress.

I will be having a baby sometime within the next three weeks, so I’ll either get tons of work done or none at all. I’m not sure what to expect with a toddler and a newborn, so goal making for the new year may be put off until I physically can get back on my feet.

I hope you out there are getting closer to your goals. I hope you are getting there faster than me! If you’re doing NANOWRIMO, good luck!!! This is me cheering you on! YAY, YOU!!!!!